A few years
back I spent a lot of my summer Saturdays going to weddings. a
of my friends were all in their early twenties and having fallen
in love a lot of them ended up 'tying the knot.'
Their decision to spend the rest of their days together would
inevitably mean that I'd have to dust off my suit, iron and shirt
for the purpose of wearing, the one tie that I own.
Actually, that shirt and tie were gifts from my sister, given
to me just before her wedding. She purchased them so as I would
acceptably presentable on her special day. A special day that ended
up with me turning some random colleague of hers into a lesbian!
Some people hate weddings, usually guys. But really you have to
look at them from a more positive perspective. Okay, so there's
the Churchy bit where you have to stand and sing Hymns and stuff,
and the wedding pictures can be a bit of a bind too. But come
there are some upsides to weddings like free food and the opportunity
to hit on the bridesmaids too should the fancy take you.
As I entered my late twenties though, the wedding rate decreased.
The suit came out less and less and the tie took early retirement
with the shirt somewhere in the back of my cupboard, only coming
out on the rare occasion where I feel a business meeting might go
a little bit better if I look a more like a businessman than a designer.
After the weddings came babies. Obviously there is far less involvement
on my part in this event. The Mummies to be start eating for two
and the Daddies to be use this opportunity in life to do the same. Then
along comes the little one and all of a sudden two become three,
three becomes four, four becomes five and Christmas becomes a quite
Babies are fine as long as they can be handed back to their owners
as soon as they start to make unpleasant noises or smells. The
way I see it is that I didn't have any of the fun in the production
of this thing so I don't see why i should have to have any part
in the clean up.
Then of course there is the whole thing about baby
do you have to feed the little blighters every few hours, but
have to change their diapers too! Why is it that someone hasn't
invented a machine to do this! It could come in it's own stylish
cabinet and be fully automated so that all you had to do was insert
the diaper and baby then sit back while it changed the baby
the closed cabinet disposed of the nasty stuff and then gently
eject your baby all clean and fresh. I'd but it if I were a parent!
Pretty soon these babies will grow up. They'll become teenagers
and make me feel really old as I'll remember them when they were
squashy things that did nothing productive whatsoever.
--- Article Notes ---
Time of death : 16:41
the time of writing this I was about to attend the first wedding
I had attended for a long time. That was the inspiration, but
the article simply ran out of steam and wasn't appearing
to get anywhere near anything that looked remotely like a point.