God, Jesus, stars, flying, night sky, electric storm, creator web log, weblog, online journal, diary, internet diary, articles, personal articles Articles and diary musings from people watcher and author Simon Jones
Meanwhile: The musings of Englishman, Simon Jones. Simon Jones writes Meanwhile. Simon Jones, people watching, ebook, online book
Meanwhile, articles and short stories written by online author, Simon Jones. God, Jesus, stars, flying, night sky, electric storm, creator

Thx 2 d technogeek hu lng ago found a way 2 allow mob fonez 2 snd txt msgz limited 2 1 hundred & 6T caractRs, it wud sEm dat ppl n d UK, especalE >-z undR d age of twenty two, hav 404 d ability 2 wrte simpl eng. insted dey nw onlE sEm abL 2 wrte n d emerging shrt& lngwij w d most uninspiring of uninventive nAmz; txt,' az n txt msgz Usd on mob fonez. It's d nu lngwij of f%lz, BetA even thN Esperanto!

Such iz my annoyance w d staggering penetration in2 our daily lives dat d SMS (sht msg services) phenomenon hz had, I hav cm ^ w a nu policy; I simply ignOr aL txt msgz snt 2 my mob fone unLS dey require a response 4 sAfT o important informational reasons. txt msgz such az "hA wot u ^ 2?" R nw met w silence, not a word, not even a word w letRz missing. Nuttin. howevR, f d prsn hu snt d txt msg chooses 2 caL me, thN datz k. I M :-) 2 chat on d fone, bt thumbing som badly RitN txt msg? n!

Lst Novmbr aloN I snt 178 txt msgz, Ech costing me 10p & taking me fR longer 2 typ thN it wud hav 2 simply spOkn d appropriate response. f d prsn had simply Usd d fone n d way Alexander Graham Bell had orginLE intended dey wud hav saved me a lot of tym & trouble sitN ther thumbing tiny ltl letRz onto a micro sized screen dat wiL surely do Nuttin bt incrEs my chncz of BcmN sht sighted!

Txt msgz R, on d whole, Nuttin bt a nuisance, an interruption & ofn a disruption. I hav considRD havN d 'feature' of txt msgN on my mob fone switched off so az 2 halt d grON influx of garbled rubbish dat bEpz & vibrates itz way in2 existence. ive even given Cres thawt 2 actually doin awA w my mob fone entirely!

PictuR d scene f U wiL, U' chatting Ovr lch w a frNd wen, 'bEp bEp, bEp bEp,' dey git a txt msg. str8 awA dey' n longer listening 2 U, insted dey' rEDN som msg. U bcm distracted by DIS interruption cuz nw dey stRt tapping awA on yor fone, thumbing a response, completely unaware of how insulted U R. U stop spkN whIl dey tap awA @ d tiny numeric key pad, onlE 2 hav dem sA "Carry on, Im jst txtN."

ThR reasoning, of corS, iz dat txt msgz R somehow less intrusive thN an actual phone caL. howevR f d fone rang thN dey mite sA "I'm actually @ lch w my frNd @ d moment, cn I caL U bak?" bt rght nw dey' 'tex ting,' :-) 2 thinly spread thR ATTN Btwen U & thR damn mob fone. aftR dey preS snd dey' ask U 2 repeat yor last few sentences cuz n m@R how hard dey tried, dey didn't hear wot U jst sed cuz dey 'tex ting' rather thN listening! U repeat yorself of corS, bt jst lIk dem, U' nw w8N 4 d inevitable rply 2 d txt msg dey jst snt.

Nw tho, 'txt' iz infiltrating evry dA Lyf lIk Amrcn brand culture & fst f%d. ppl (especalE 3:o)z I notice) R stRtN 2 shut down d lngwij pRtz of thR brains n ordr 2 wrte emails & letRz composed entirely n txt msg shrt&. & w d limitation of onlE bn abL 2 snd 160 character msgz lifted, dey sEm 2 rejoice n an orG of ltl wrds w letRz missing & mammoth blocks of txt dat R unbroken by a paragraphs o punctuation.

Mo & mo ppl sEm 2 find it acceptable 2 snd emails RitN n 'txt.' Emails dat R az ugLE 2 L%k @ az dey R hard 2 rED. Huge blocks of airtight txt mixd & mangled 2geder lIk smashed cars n a rd. akcdnt. Ech diFicult sentence foLowN d last lIk d incoherent shards of QSO az a dentist worx on Hs patients teeth. d suffocated wrds Leav d reader racing 2 git 2 d nd of d email so az dey cn gasp 4 breath lIk a pearl diver aftR an impossibly lng exploration of d sea |=---|

I strain 2 undRstNd such msgz. dey rED lIk badly spLD brkn eng dat requires an F4t 2 decipher. It infuriates me knON dat d prsn hu rOt DIS spkz w d sAm mum tongue az I. dey teL me of corS dat it's fR EZer & quicker 2 rED & wrte 'txt' bt ther emails Leav me unconvinced of itz much hyped qualities.

"Yo, watch bin up2 l8ly dod hey? Happy BDAY!!! Woodwind u do2 celebr8+woodwind u get? I went 4 a meal on thurs wi faze me bro+his m8 2celebr8 Farrell+FA bs bdays.It woozy a lard, but even moor of a lard woozy my uncles 50th bay party on friday with much drinking and dancing thor I'd b doing YMCA sitting down huh? Ne ways rite me beak pronto s' il vogues plait simon...cya!"

Even scotl&z oldest tongue iz getin d text-message treatment az Gaelic-speaking mob fone usrz hav maNgD 2 devise a way 2 combine d two infamously diFicult lngwijz. 4 example asking 1 of d othR 60,000 Gaelic speakers n scotl& on a D8 hz Bin hacked down frm An Enid thus Omaha ri um? (wiL U go along w me?) 2 8Ucolrm? Desired nab saccharin, 4 wknd, hz Bin cut down 2 dn7n whIl sAN taped bleat, Gaelic 4 thk U, hz Bin cut 2 tap l@.

Marilyn Gillies, d compiler of Gaelic’s 1st text-message DxtnRE & editor of a youth-orientated Gaelic website, dismissed concrnz dat d txt abbreviated version of d lngwij wud undRmIn Gaelic literacy. Indeed she even went az fR az claiming dat it wud git chldrn in2 d habit of UzN d Gaelic n mo & mo contexts. bt personLlE I hav alredi seen evidence 2 sugest dat 'txt' duz indeed effect literacy, w ppl UzN txt abbrz not onlE n email bt also Cres Biz cmUnik8shnz & even job appz!

It sEmz howevR dat thOs hu luv 2 txt rubbish c%d b @ rsk of getin a painful payback 4 thR luv of txt n d form of a 'txt msg Injury' (TMI), a form of repetitive strain injury (RSI). A fact dat Australian authorities felt Cres Enuf 2 warrant a national awareness progrm n which Australians wer urged 2 practice 'safe txt'. tho I M not entirely sure wot dat involves.

Quite apart frm d fizikL concrnz of XSive 'txtN' iz d wori dat a grON # of ppl c%d actually bcm 'textaholics.' Fifty-five ppl wer bn trEtD n d UK last yr. @ an exclusive clinic 4 thOs suffering frm txt msg Addiction, a condition dat Dr Mark Collins, of d Priory Clinic n south-west LDN, claims iz a grON prob.

Of corS it wont b lng nw untl d useful mob fone n my pocket stRtz rec'vN spam txt msgz frm advertisers & scammers keen 2 liberate me frm my monE. dat wud problE lead 2 my fone spending mo tym switched off thN on, & f it got bad Enuf thN I wud ask my mob fone provider 2 simply remove d SMS functionality frm my fone.

I knO dat dEz dAz a mob fone iz mo ofn thN not much mo thN simply a fone, & az useful az I knO 'mob teknoloG' iz, I'd rather simply uz my fone d old fashioned way. f ppl wnt 2 hav a chat w me thN dey cn caL me cuz frm nw on i dnt do txt!


Read 'the Queens English version' of this article.

main index | search | extras | join the readers list | about simon jones | blog | contact

© 2004. The content of 'Meanwhile' is the exclusive copyright property of Simon Jones.
For more information and full legal notices please see the boring legal shit page.
More websites created by Simon Jones can be located at simonjones.uk.