written anything in ages. Where does time go I wonder. You know
what it's like, you look back and BANG, a month has passed, before
you know it, BANG, two months gone, right there!
Actually, I joined a gym last month so that explains where a good proportion
of my free time has gone. With the membership costing me nearly fifty pounds
a month I am determined to get my money's worth out of it, and so far I've been
going about three times a week. It's pretty good fun actually. I have to say
the first couple of weeks were awful, I'd go and do my workout program damn near
killing myself in the process. But I quickly saw my body tone up and I have to
confess that I found that very rewarding.
Now I sail through my given workout, so I have added some new machines to the
program. I'm currently trying to regain my six pack which was, as I recall, only
ever a four pack. In fact after just one week of doing that new 'six pack machine'
I have seen a difference, though I'm concerned that my four pack may only be
a two pack now.
I have to confess though that the whole fitness freak lifestyle has remained
just the other side of my understanding. Like everyone I see people jogging and
stuff and I think to myself why would anyone do that.
Joining the gym was something I did more for the relaxation factor than anything
else. I've finally gotten to a point where I can afford to be a member of such
a place, so why not. I never expected for one minute to actually get as much
enjoyment out of punishing myself as I apparently do.
Perhaps if I am not careful I'll become a gym junkie? One of those people who
spends their whole life in a tracksuit drinking from a squeezable plastic bottle
and running everywhere instead of walking. I mean for goodness sake I have even
changed my diet to try and cut out some of the fatty stuff. Funny really when
you consider that I am a slim guy to start with anyway.
It must been vanity I suppose. I've never considered myself to be vain, but here
I am talking about wanting to have a six pack, going to the gym in search of
the elusive 'perfect body' and putting myself through pain in order to gain what?
I pretty much wear Gap clothes all the time which are on the whole all baggy,
so it's not like anyone would see my 'Action Man' body should I actually get
I don't consider myself to be vain but I wonder if those who know me think I
am? However that could be a can of worms right there couldn't it. I tend not
to think about it really, and if asked I'd say I don't care. But do I really?
Sure I do, we all do, though of course we all say we don't.
For example, Louise, one of the hairdressers from downstairs, suggested today
that I was like Alex from Channel 4's 'Big Brother.' I was curious as to what
she meant, so I invited her to elaborate. I wish I hadn't because she ended up,
in a roundabout manner, saying that I'm camp. Camp!?
I protested but then, as so often happens, the rest of the hairdressers all got
involved in the conversation. Pretty soon the entire shop was saying how they
could quite easily imagine me as a gay man! Pam, another hairdresser, said she
could imagine me as a "trolley dolly" while Wenda, the boss, agreed
that I would make "a good woman!!"
Now it's fair to say that I am not exactly a 'mans man.' I'm not
into football, I don't like getting my hands dirty, I know nothing
about cars, and I don't wolf whistle at fine young ladies in short
skirts. But 'camp' I am not.
I am fairly sure that if asked my friends would say that I have
a finely tuned appreciation for the fairer sex. They would describe
me in many ways I'm sure, but I can confidently say that I don't
think 'camp' is a word that any of them would use.
But it's out there now. The whole campness thing is lurking in
the background of my thoughts. Am I going to become paranoid that
I have too much of a spring in my step, or a wiggle in my hips?
Is my voice too high? What do I do with my hands when I talk? Is
it at possible that I, Simon Jones, have an inner camp guy who
is somehow finding ways to make himself seen and heard?
Ah what the heck. It doesn't matter what people think anyway does
it... or does it?