December 8th, 2003.

Driving without headlights.
An unfinished 'Meanwhile.'

The following article was left unfinished and unedited and should be read as such. Notes can be found below the article.

Usually when I write a 'meanwhile' article it's inspired by an event; something I saw or experienced in some way. Sometimes the words are right there, and with seemingly little effort from me they just fall across the computer screen like rain drops on a window. Other times I have to search for every sentence and piece together each paragraph creating the finished article like an airfix kit.

I think this 'meanwhile' will be one of those shattered China bowls. I have so much stuff I want to write, but I'm sitting here, nearly motionless in the glare of the computer screen like a deer caught in the headlights of a car.

This past weekend a close friend of mine expressed a feeling to me that he had "no soul." It was part of a much bigger conversation, that in itself was just a small part of a far bigger issue. His life has recently been turned upside-down though the break-up of his eight year marriage. A personal trauma the like of which I feel I almost have no understanding of.

Watching my friend go through this period is his life has been utterly frustrating for me. I feel like I am simply unable to provide the kind of help he needs, and while I am of course 'there for him' I am feeling like just 'being there' is in actual fact one step short of where I actually need to be.

It's like standing on the shore watching a ship sink and not having anyway to get help for the helpless.

--- Article Notes ---

Time of death : 01:27
I tried to approach this subject on several occasions. This is the furthest I managed to get. My considerations when writing were of course my friends privacy, but also the worry that the end result might seem very negative at a time when keeping my friends spirits up was hard enough.

I decided to abandon the piece after these brief few paragraphs because I was simply not able to see the article going anywhere helpful. It is however a subject that I would like to approach again, but perhaps when it harsh reality is a little less raw and perspective might enable me to write something with a better balance.